tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8821350472422810239.post2818751936020475334..comments2023-05-19T08:51:23.931-06:00Comments on Smartphone Shakespeare: Christopher Muratore's Draft SonnetGideonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13328578010572353558noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8821350472422810239.post-24331434400164469612016-09-12T14:40:34.703-06:002016-09-12T14:40:34.703-06:00Line 2, "London," the first syllable is ...Line 2, "London," the first syllable is stressed, so it's off. Line 3, "Lonely," the first syllable is stressed, so it's off. Line 4, "rocker," the first syllable is stressed, so it's off. Line 5, "evacuation" seems off to me. These are just a few ideas for revisions. I'd check the rest of the poem as well.<br /><br />I can tell you have a great knowledge of music, which is an awesome place to draw inspiration from.Kevin Dormanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11741301834210005511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8821350472422810239.post-75071972174186779272016-09-12T10:51:14.745-06:002016-09-12T10:51:14.745-06:00Your iambic pentameter seems a little off in lines...Your iambic pentameter seems a little off in lines 10-11. It seems like a cool poem and I like that you based it off a book! I might have to go read it.flowerlkdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00357313998214964264noreply@blogger.com