The Creature Inside
Last night my friends sent me a text in jest
(A humorous meme of Shrek in his swamp)
But I could not laugh as hard as the rest
Of them because my alertness was romped
By the creature inside me that craves sleep
Is she a fiend or is she my old friend,
Replenishing my energy to keep
Up with all that I wish my time to spend?
The real problem is that I have no choice
When the creature calls me, I have to go
No matter where I am, I lose my voice
Consciousness reaches a steady plateau
Hopefully friends can forgive me this fault
Eight Thirty approaches and I must halt.
I fell asleep at 9pm last night, after having planned time to work on my sonnet. Consequently, I got up at 6:15am because that's when I feel more alert. I legitimately received this meme in a group text with my friends:
I felt inspired because everyone else in the group had already responded. Also, this seriously happens all of the time. I fall asleep at parties, at restaurants, at movies, and at family events. I can't seem to figure it out. I don't do well late at night, and I can much easier get up early in the morning.
I love the idea behind your sonnet plus who doesn't love Shrek...However, I had a hard time with the rhythm of your sonnet. It seems like the iambic pentameter is off on most of the lines.
ReplyDeleteI think you could find different words besides "alertness" and "problem" because I'm not sure if they fit the meter.
ReplyDeleteI loe your idea- it seriously cracks me up. I agree with the above comments- the flow is a little off for me, so maybe messing with word choice to smooth over the meter would be helpful.
ReplyDeleteI loe your idea- it seriously cracks me up. I agree with the above comments- the flow is a little off for me, so maybe messing with word choice to smooth over the meter would be helpful.
ReplyDelete