The fear begins to grip my heart and clouds
My eyes with tears of sadness, doubt, and pain.
His words bring news that has begun to shroud
The future's crystal vision with dark rain—
Uncertainties, which make my mind grow cold.
He'll walk away and try to steel his nerve,
Yet I can see his happiness untold.
Now he will go across the sea to serve
With flag upon his shoulder and his heart.
I am determined to be strong for him
While he defends our country. He’ll depart
And far from him, my light will grow so dim.
To be alone and not know where he'll be—
Is this the sacrifice God meant for me?
I love the image in the first quatrain about the clear future being obscured with dark rain. I feel like that's such a good analogy for what life is like when we get thrown a curveball.
ReplyDeleteI liked the patriotic feel. #Murica. Your line "my mind grow cold" really intrigued me because I don't think I have ever heard that before. What does it feel like/mean to have your mind go cold? I can't decided if I really like it or think it doesn't make sense.
ReplyDelete*decide
DeleteI think the line break in the middle of your volta has a really powerful emotional effect. The whole poem is really well composed in its use of strong emotional detail to make a point. That's definitely hard to do in the constraints of the sonnet form.
ReplyDeleteIt was really good before, but is even better now. I love it. There is so much feeling and you did a great job of making it flow naturally.
ReplyDelete