My mind, and though I try I know not why
Their icy touch becomes the great divide
Despite my tries to get outside, I sigh,
And doubt I'll ever have the strength I need
To break or bend or rend this quarantine
That keeps the real me trapped, and so I plead
With bars that mock me with the space between.
Impassive, they remain. and then I see
A Light so bright it shines like the divine
I reach between in hope to find the key,
and soon I feel a hand connect with mine.
The bars depart, the key comes from Above.
My Savior comes and frees me with His Love.
This Sonnet is about my personal experience overcoming my self-doubt, and loneliness. I had the most trouble with the Volta, I feel like it doesn't flow very well, let me know if you have any advice.
Maybe revise it in a way that the volta doesn't occur in the middle of a line? It might be more apparent that way.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kevin's comment here. It would probably be easier and more effective if the volta began at the beginning of a new line.
ReplyDelete