Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Kate's Draft Sonnet

Share it Please
The red button is turned that I may see
something my heart has yet to understand
For if I bet, I'd only have a fee,
as they go out to storm the wasteland

"Go, go" the women clad in black may scream,
and scruffy men in mask so varied;
call out to crowds loudly as a team,
quickly as victory is buried

The game begins and whoosh they go.
Past the first, past the second for the win.
Our men go fast just to be too slow,
as the enemy scores with a grin.

Now I love my team, I do, it's true.
Raiders, come on! Win more than a few. 

So, I think my rhyme scheme is up. Like, I think line 4 and 8 are off? Could be wrong. I need some help with that, though. Thanks!


  1. I think your rhyme scheme sounds great! I didn't notice any discrepancies with the rhyming. I also loved that you didn't reveal the team until almost the last line. It made me have to think it through a little more.

  2. Many of your lines don't have enough syllables, so you might want to consider revising those. I don't like the Raiders, but I like the football idea.