Monday, September 12, 2016

Shelby's Draft Sonnet

Share it Please

The first of kisses: guarded, but long-sought.
The approach--desire--the spark is in his eye.
Secluded in a basement, dark and fraught
With tension thick between a girl and guy.
He grabs my face with force; he does not ask
If I am ready. No, he pushes hard.
First lips, then teeth, then tongue--he has a task
The last naivete I have is marred.
He pulls away and grins with boyish pride;
Upstairs he runs, then drives into the night.
Alone, I blush, then face my mom inside
Where she reveals the truth with great delight.
Oh how I rued the days that we had dated
When mom revealed that we two were related!

Isn't that awful? I figure that an experience as traumatizing as finding out that your first kiss is a semi-close cousin is something that needs to be documented. I'm not quite sure if the last couple lines are the correct way to end a sonnet--any tips?


  1. I really enjoyed your sonnet, a very unexpected twist at the end! I think there is an extra syllable in the last two lines so they don't flow as well as the rest of the poem, you might want to try changing them.

  2. This is hilarious. I would consider changing the title, though. When I began reading it the first time, I thought it was about someone "cheating" on their significant other, which misdirected my attention and made me have to read it again to be able to see the comic effect. Just a thought.