Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Gaylie's Draft Sonnet
Dark roaming storm clouds high up in the sky,
Small blue brown birds running tight in a line,
The colors that pop as the sky seems to cry,
The scent in the wind of sun, salt and brine,
Orange faced poppies and yellow tulips,
Hand written notes done in dark, thick, black ink,
The wings of a humming bird as it sips,
The notes of a song that run off the brink,
The sun on my back as I sit outside,
Full seashells plucked from the sand covered shore,
Stained glass windows in their color and pride,
A dark and deep night sky with stars galore,
From these I gain joy, from these I gain strength.
These are some of my favorite things at length.
Labels:
"draft sonnet",
"posted by Gaylie Bowles"
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This sounds great! I love the imagery evoked by your descriptions. It was very pretty and peaceful feeling. Something that you could try to change a little would be to add more enjambment. I feel like you kind of have that but adding a little more could help the whole thing flow less like a list. But great draft!
ReplyDeleteSome of the lines have too many syllables, and the iambic pentameter is off, but I liked your efforts to be very descriptive.
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