Monday, September 12, 2016

Isaac's Draft Sonnet

Share it Please

A drop of water baptized me today

as I was walking by some campus trees.

What power did they have within their leaves

to Christen me and send me on my way?

I felt it trickle behind my ear--halfway

to soaking in my collared shirt. Oh please

be sign of some great changing cosmic breeze,

reprieve from self-rejecting hate. And may

I find in me again a peaceful mind,

a willing heart, a sensitive spirit.

Give me the power nature has to break

the longing for a life that's past behind.

My hope is simply champing at the bit.

Trees do not have the power to give and take.

This came from an experience I had walking on campus outside of the library in February. I've thought about writing it for a while and this gave me a good opportunity. 
I would like some help with line 10. Sometimes I feel like it works, and other times "spirit" seems awkward in the meter. But maybe I want it to be awkard? What do you think? 


  1. Hey Isaac! :) I feel like in line 10 "sensitive" is actually the word that makes it a little awkward at least to me. But I have to say this is a really cool sonnet...I like that this is just a little experience that you had that stuck with you!

    1. Hey Leah! Thanks for the input. I'll think about that before we workshop tomorrow!